This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
