I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
