On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
