We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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