that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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