BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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