If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
