sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
