at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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