When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
