Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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