Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
