love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so let's talk penis.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
