Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
there is glitter all over my balls
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
