yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
