Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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