Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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