I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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