READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
