We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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