better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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