The maid of honor just puked.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
