remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
