I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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