A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
