so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
