it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
