Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
