ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
