You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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