I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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