Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
