We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
