Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
