we made out on top of his cat.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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