Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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