It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
