Your dad touched me again.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
