Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
