if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
