marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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