Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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