I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
