check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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