Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
