No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
