I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
