You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
