I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
