Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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