We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
