If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
