On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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