my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Houston, we have a squirter
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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