i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
