I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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