I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
