I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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